The Green Hope Falcon

How to Ask Someone to Homecoming

Amelia Mendes and Sophie Hall

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Step 1:  Make a dramatic entrance.  The best way to do this is to grab hold of a rolling chair and nonchalantly slide in beside the object of your affection. Capture their attention without words and make yourself seem desirable.  Flare your nostrils uncontrollably, wink repeatedly, wiggle your eyebrows, and/or other such eye catching gestures.

Step 2: Stare longingly for a few minutes to make sure they are listening.  Do not let them leave until you have completed your mission. You are setting up the groundwork for a maximum listening environment. Proceed to make sure everyone and everything else is quiet. Shout “Silence!” if need be.

Step 3:

  1. Pose the question.  Do not take your time approaching the subject, be bold and blunt.  Make sure they cannot say no. One recommended method is, “If I were to ask you to homecoming, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”, it will work either way. When people are confused they are more likely to blindly agree to things, just to seem intelligent.
  2. Assume that you are already going with the person. Walk up to them and simply ask, “What time are you picking me up for Homecoming?”, or if they are without car, “What time am I meeting you for Homecoming?” The subject will either have forgotten whether or not they have said yes to your request, or will seize upon the opportunity of having a date.

Step 4:

  1. Run away before they realize what you are asking/implying. You can do this by yelling “Great!” before an official answer is given. Then avoid them at all costs until homecoming.  This is guaranteed to work, but if it doesn’t, go back to step 1 and try someone else.
  2. Stand there silently and face the music. If they say “yes”, great. If they don’t, just remember that love is a whirlpool and some of us drown. Find someone else who is sinking and move on with your life.  

About the Contributors
Amelia Mendes, Staff Writer

Amelia Allende Mendes is a junior at Green Hope this year.  She moved here four years ago from Miami Beach in Florida, but her favorite place in the world to visit is Costa Rica, because her grandmother’s used to be there.  Her favorite subject in school is drama, and she hopes to eventually receive a bachelors degree in fine arts from Fordham University.  She joined The Falcon this year because she feels that journalism is a great medium to express yourself and write about issues that are relevant to your peers.

Sophie Hall, Staff Writer

The youngest of three sisters, Sophie Hall is a Junior this year at Green Hope.  She plays soccer, excels at drawing and her favorite movie is Pixar’s UP.  She has been a part of The Falcon for all three years of high school.  Money and smarts notwithstanding, she would go to MIT for college, and then move to New Zealand.  The most interesting thing for Sophie this summer was getting a new kitten. The class that she is most excited for this year is AP Psychology, which fits very well with her superpower of choice, telekinesis.  She views herself as night person because of how difficult it is to get out of bed in the morning.

 

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How to Ask Someone to Homecoming